Words are not enough for what I have to say, but words are the medium I’ve been given, so with that being said I’ll try my hardest to express the truth of what I’ve come to realize in the last day. Bear with me, as I’m still struggling to find words for these thoughts. I don’t even know if there are words for these thoughts, but I feel compelled to try and share them with you.
God is incredible. He is the maker of everything in the universe, from the smallest cell to the largest star. He is the author of life and the source of all things good. He is pure, and He is righteous. He is not only the source of all things good, He is Good himself. He is Truth. He is Holiness. He is Love. His love is vast and never ending, and unconditional. He is infinite. He is infinite in power, in love, in grace, in truth, in holiness - in everything good.
I, on the other hand, am broken. I am fallen away from God. I am full of sin - every second of every day of my life, whether I realize it or not. I am base and vile, and full of everything that God, in all his holiness, can never be in the presence of.
I will never be good enough.
But He is. And this is what is truly inconceivable to me: that a God so perfect, so full of utter holiness and power, can call me into His presence. I am sin. He is the lack of sin. We are oil and water; we cannot mix. And yet we do. It’s a mystery I cannot understand.
Not only does He tolerate me, He loves me. He loves me so much, in fact, that He calls me into His presence, even when I’m running as fast as I can away from Him. He loves me so much, in fact, that He is making me into something beautiful. He wants to see me new, reborn - holy, even.
Lately I’ve been believing the lie that I have to be “good enough” to come into His presence. But this is an impossibility - that a human being as sinful as I could ever be pure enough, holy enough, to earn my way into the presence of God. And here is the beauty of the Gospel: Jesus takes that all away. We can come before God the epitome of sin and impurity, and He will still love us.
Last night, I was so aware of my own sinful nature, and so broken. I felt like I could never come before God. And then He came to me. And in my utter brokenness and sinfulness I experienced God more fully than I perhaps ever have in my life.
This is what Christ wants for you. He loves you so deeply that He cannot wait to be with you. This is the Gospel: That even though we are the polar opposite of everything God is, He still wants to be with us. He wants to be with us so much that He sacrificed the perfect life of His only son, just so that we would have a way to be with Him.
We will never be good enough. We will never earn a ticket into the presence of God. And this is the beauty of the Gospel.